You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
