someone get that fucking seahorse.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
