well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
