I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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