A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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