so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
