How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
