gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
