He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
