WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize