O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
