32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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