We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
