it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
