Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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