Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
