My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
