Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize