i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
