guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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