I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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