How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
