Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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