Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
