I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
