and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's blow job season.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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