Princesses don't give blow jobs
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
