im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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