Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
