but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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