does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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