where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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