Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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