covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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