1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
