Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
