My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
