i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
