oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
