She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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