I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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