Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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