Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
