So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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