I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
