If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
