worst night to have a conscience
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
