using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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