...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
