we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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