I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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