How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize