Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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