Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize