Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
