Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
