like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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