Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
