who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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