I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
