So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
