id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
