nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
