Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
